The Belgian Episode

On recent soujourns in Brussels and Ghent; plus, travel tips, things I've watched on planes, and what is up with all this great new music?

When I was 18 years old, I spent the summer with a wonderful Parisian family who introduced this formerly picky eater to things like escargot, different types of cheeses, and so many other things (not necessarily culinary) that I had only read or dreamed about, but never experienced.

Recently, I was thinking about the day when one of my hosts – we'll call her Madame – drove me to Giverny so I could see Claude Monet's home, which was surrounded by the elaborate gardens and lily ponds he painted in his later years. Madame maneuvered between cars on the A13 like an Formula 1 driver that day until she got behind a sluggish little auto that slowed her momentum.

Frustrated, she declared: "Oh, mais il est belge!" ("Oh, but he is Belgian!")

Out of genuine curiosity, I asked her how she knew the driver was Belgian. Was it on his license plate or something? She looked confused. I said: "You said he was Belgian, but how do you know that?" That was the day I learned that sometimes French people call someone Belgian as an insult. I had never been to Belgium at that point, and I had never met a Belgian, so I didn't really understand why either of those things could be pejorative. So, of course I had to ask what made it an insult, and Madame looked at me as if to say "Well, isn't it obvious?" She probably thought I was being pretty Belgian at that point, so I kept my mouth shut until we got to Giverny and had a lovely morning looking at flowers in the mist. Later, I discovered that calling someone Belgian is an insult because it's a relatively young country as far as Europe goes, so perhaps its people are a little naive, a little slow (beep beep!), a little...not so French.

I say all that to say this: This year I finally made it to Belgium, not once, but twice. And now I am of the opinion that "oh, mais il est belge" needs to be uttered in delight instead of scorn. In Brussels, I've met some pretty nice Belgians who want you to enjoy Belgium (which is an enjoyable place) and are genuinely curious and politely mortified about what is going on in our country. From afar, this news about ICE and deportations and book bans and so on and so forth is a source of deep – but not unfamiliar – concern. What was refreshing to me was that every conversation I had about our country was civil, sensitive, thoughtful. One Uber driver even apologized to me if he came off as rude, but he wanted to know if I, as a white American woman, was afraid of black and brown people, because it seemed to him that most white Americans were based on what he has been reading and hearing lately. I said I was not, and then he continued to ask me whatever questions he could about America before he dropped me off at the Villa Empain, where there was a wonderful centennial exhibit about Art Deco. Before I closed the car door behind me, I thanked the driver for the conversation, which has stayed with me.

As I wrote last week, one of the Belgians I've met this year was Richard from Ghent, the proudly multilingual gentleman who comes to Brussels just to eat mussels. He gave me a map of Ghent earlier this year and this past week I had a brief stay there. It is absolutely as charming as he said it was, and reminded me of a smaller Amsterdam with fewer bicyclists. There are beautiful churches, the ruins of a medieval castle, chocolate shops galore, and a quaint little place on the water where I stopped for afternoon tea. Ghent is very nice. Is it better than Brussels? No. It's just its own thing, and enjoyable in its own way. As for mussels, Richard is right. You definitely want to eat them in Brussels at Brasserie le Cerf, where they are perfectly sweet and come with a hefty side of fries. After finally trying them on this past trip, I now understand what the fuss is all about.

Merci to Richard for the tip! And merci to Belgium for being a soft place to land!

Here's hoping you've all had a wonderful week. Hit reply if you're so inclined to let me know how you've been doing, and what is new in your world. XO, P

Writing prompt: Write about a travel tip someone gave you. What was it and did it live up to your expectations? Why or why not? If you hit reply, maybe we can compile a list of travel tips to share with each other in a coming issue.

No need to hurry. No need to sparkle. No need to be anybody but oneself. When you let go of the frantic search for validation, you find yourself exactly where you are meant to be, with the tools you need to go forward. It is from this place of quiet assurance that the most beautiful things emerge.

-- Virginia Woolf

Endnotes

A few things I've watched on planes

• Writing With Fire, a fascinating documentary about fearless female journalists in India risking their lives to cover the news for a woman-run news outlet.
• The Loneliest Whale: The Search for 52, another interesting documentary about scientists trying to find a whale that communicates in a frequency that other whales don't seem to understand.
• Mr. Malcolm's List, a cute-but-predictable little film that takes place in the 1800s about a bachelor who has a list of exacting standards for his future wife. When one young lady falls short – and is shamed for it in the media – she comes up with a scheme to get even with Malcolm, and of course there are twists and turns that, again, you see coming. But it's light and nice, and so whatever. A little frothiness never hurt anyone.

Something I'm excited about

Yesterday, Atlanta United FC announced the return of Tata Martino, the icon who coached this team to its first MLS Cup in 2018. I was so happy about this news, I thought I'd faint.

Some music I've been catching up on

The past couple of weeks have been great for new music, as evidenced by that deceptively sweet-sounding Lily Allen album I wrote about last week. Since I got back from Europe, I've been enjoying Brandi Carlile's Returning to Myself, and Florence and the Machine's Everybody Scream. Is there anything you've been listening to, new or old, that you think I should check out? Hit reply, or let me know in comments.

Where I hope you'll donate this week

So, now the Trump administration announced that supplemental nutrition assistance benefits may be coming back, and if they return, they'll probably be delayed, and when they finally do come (if they come) they'll be at a lesser amount. This is a program that impacts some 42 million people in the United States. If you are able to do so, please consider helping by donating food or money to your local community bank. Thank you.

Next week: Everyone sings about April in Paris, but boy is it sure special in fall...